The hardest Part of being an Expat | Girl Talk

There is a reality to living abroad that cannot truly be anticipated, and it's a reality you have to live in order to really understand the weight of it.

For example:

I didn't realise how hard it would be to explain to family why I needed and wanted to move so far away without making them feel abandoned or as if I was fleeing from them.

I didn't realise how much guilt I would feel for missing out on so much of my family and friends' lives.

I didn't realise the fear that would set in when a family member got diagnosed with cancer and I wondered if they'd still be around when I planned to visit in a few months.

That's just three of several difficult realisations I've had to face over the past 3+ years of living abroad.

More than anything else, here's what is hard about living abroad (outside of £4,000 visas and crazy rent prices): I love my family. No one makes me laugh harder than my brother. My mom has a way of making the mundane special. My dad and I have always had deep and open conversations that flow so effortlessly. But I moved across an ocean, and I left them on the other side of it. Despite my love for them, I felt called to London, and I couldn't say no. I didn't want to say no, just as much as I didn't want to leave them.

I still remember hugging my dad goodbye at the airport, trying to seem composed -- not too sad, not too excited. I cried once I passed through the gate. I cried again in the shower on the first night in my new home which was 4,229 miles away from my childhood home. I wrestled with and still (nearly 4 years later) have to combat a sense of guilt for moving away from family. So much of life is now lived without them beside me (or even relatively near me). The time difference makes phone calls difficult. Flights are expensive. So, you miss out on time together during holidays, birthdays and milestones.

If you've moved abroad for any period of time, you've probably felt this tension: you feel a deep desire and need to be exactly where you are though those you love most aren't there with you.

In every phase of life, you will be called to sacrifice something. When you graduate university, when you get married, when you have children, etc., you're sacrificing and relinquishing something you once cherished whether it's family, friendships, free time, finances, so on. Or, at the very least, you're letting go of how those relationships or things used to be to make space for how they need to transform. But if Jesus is calling you to it, you can know with confidence that the sacrifice will be worth it. While I have sacrificed the ability to live my daily life alongside my family and in my hometown, I haven't given up or let go of my family and life back in Tennessee (how could I ever let go of my favourite coffee shops back home?! The Blackberry cold brew with vanilla cold foam from House Blend ... unmatched) -- my relationship with them just looks different, and that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I am thankful for my family, and I am thankful I can stay in touch despite the distance and 6-hour time difference. We're not separated forever, and we are only ever a phone call or 8-hour flight away, but it's still hard. I can't say it necessarily gets easier (in fact, I currently feel like the opposite is true but I'm in an emotional state, so ask me again next week), but I can say my life abroad is full of colour, love and adventure. I have blossomed in ways I don't think I ever could have if it weren't for London. I've fallen in love and begun a new family by getting married to my gorgeous British man. I came to know Jesus better than I ever have before. I found a community and added more friends to my life. I started Rove & Frolic. I'm still so in awe of this city and feel so energised and inspired. I'm content with my life. This is where I was always meant to be, and I can just feel how right it is.

And though I know it can be hard on them, I am so thankful to have a supportive family that champions me and my dreams. I know that isn't something everyone can say. Without their love and support, I wouldn't have even made it to London. They did the hard work to build the bridge that would get me across the ocean and into the UK through their words of encouragement, financial support and many, many sacrifices. It hurts us both to be apart, but that's the circle of life, isn't it? My own wanderlust may very well get passed down to my children, and one day I may be waving goodbye to my daughter as she embarks on her own adventure abroad. But isn't it so beautiful to watch someone grow into the person they are meant to become? To live the life that was destined for them? I know my family feels that way, and so, yes -- it is hard being away from family, but it's so sweet to be so loved even 4,229 miles away.